Oh Perry
by SkinnyLittleSlut
Summary: Dr. Cox meets a patient who is convinced that he is in love with JD. Can he convince her otherwise or is she set in her opinion? OC. Read it. Now. ONESHOT.


"He's real mad at you."  
Dr. Cox scowled deeply, whipping round to fix the offender with a deadly glare.  
The speaker turned out to be a patient.  
"What the hell would you know." He growled, picking up her chart.  
"I know he's mad at you. He stomped away. All grumpy like. Scowly. Grrr."  
Dr. Cox looked up from her metal chart to glare at her.  
"God, you're annoying."  
She gave him a bright grin, taking the pink lollipop out of her mouth to blow a bubble from her gum.  
"You're eating candy and chewing gum at the same time? God, I hate you already."  
"We already established that. You know. When you said I was annoying."  
Dr. Cox skimmed through her chart, and lowered it, fixing her with an incredulous look.  
"Your name's Charley Scene."  
"Uh huh." She nodded.  
"He likes you, you know." She said, nodding in the direction of the door.  
"Really? I hadn't gathered that from the constant badgering the kid fixes me with." He replied sarcastically, lowering his eyes back to her chart.  
"I mean he like likes you."  
"Don't be ridiculous. Newbie's not gay."  
"For you he is."  
Dr. Cox slammed her chart down. She raised one perfectly plucked brow.  
"Ooh. Is that meant to intimidate me? Because if so, I'm soo scared. Really. Quivering in my bed here."  
She smirked to herself, huffing her choppy bangs out of her eyes.  
"How the hell would you know." He snapped.  
"I'm very intuitive. Really. I could con you out of millions of dollars and you wouldn't even realise." She said, wiggling her eyebrows suggestively.  
Dr. Cox scowled.  
"You have sucky bedside manner by the way." She informed him.  
"I don't have high tolerance for annoying patients."  
"Ohh, sorry." She laughed, raising her bony arms up in mock surrender.  
"You collapsed on the street after three days of intense exercise and fasting. You're 20lbs underweight and severely dehydrated. We'll treat you with IV fluids, give you food if you're willing and monitor you for 72 hours. I'll get you a referral from psych and if there is a God, you'll be out of my hair in three very long days."  
Dr. Cox replaced her chart.  
"I'd lecture you on the dangers of anorexia but I get the feeling you've heard it all before, and since you obviously couldn't care less if you live or die, I'll leave it to the so called doctors up in psych. Goodbye Miss...Charley."  
"Miss Charley?" She snorted with laughter. "God, you make me sound like a dominatrix."  
Dr. Cox ignored her and went to leave the room.  
"He luurves you." She called as he went out of the door.  
He turned back, touching his nose and crossing his arms.  
"Now listen here..."  
"Listen here?! Hahaha, that's what my grandpa used to say. 'Now you listen here girlie...' You sound like a 85 year old man called Morris who wears his pants under his chin with suspenders and keeps his slippers on outside."  
"Newbie does not goddamn have a crush on me."  
"Why are you so in denial about this, Dr. Perry?"  
"Dr. Perry..?!"  
"You called me Miss Charley. I figured we could all enter the BDSM trade together, you know, since we're such good friends now."  
"How in the hell do you know my name?!"  
"Ummm its on your name tag. Duhhhh."  
She stuck a finger in her cheek and cocked her head to the side as she made the sound.  
Dr. Cox flicked his name tag so the face was concealed against his white coat.  
She shook her head.  
"You shouldn't do that, Dr. Perry. Patients feel safer when they really know who they're being treated by, you know? It allows them to develop a bond that's as deeply embedded as ours."  
She took his hand and rested it against her heart, giving him a soulful look and completely disregarding his look of pure disbelief.  
"What the hell is your problem?"  
She snorted with laughter again, releasing his hand.  
"Wedding ring. Huh. Does your wife know that you're having an affair with a guy?"  
"Wha...I'm not having an affair!"  
"Dr. Perry. Emotional affairs are just as significant as the lustful ones. If your wife isn't giving you the same kind of love as Dr. Dorian is, she deserves to know."  
"I am nawt having a goddamn affair with Newbie!" He yelled, stalking out of the room angrily.  
"You're lying to yourself Dr. P!" She screamed after his retreating form.  
He turned back again, his face bright red with rage.  
"Now I don't know where the hell you get off by telling me who I goddamn love and since you're obviously delusional from the lack of food in your little world of false names and dry humour..."  
"Scratch the grandpops thing. Now you sound like my dad!"  
Dr. Cox took a deep breath, trying to calm his shaking form.  
"Why are you so intent on denying yours and Dr. Dorian's blossoming love?"  
"Why the hell does Mary-Beth get called by her real name?!"  
"Ah, a girl's name! You're trying to convince yourself he's a woman so you don't feel as guilty about your love towards him..."  
"No! No. Nooo. Nooooo. I call Newbie girl's names because of her ridiculously feminine qualities."  
"You can pretend you hate them as much as you like, Dr. Perry, but you and me both know they're the things that make you desire him."  
She licked her lips slowly with her tongue, raising her eyebrows.  
Dr. Cox was about to cuttingly retort when JD walked into the room.  
"Hey Charley! How're you...oh hey Dr. Cox!"  
JD bounded over, a grin all over his face.  
"I thought you weren't speaking to me. I liked that. That was good. Please go back to that."  
"Oh Perry. Always the joker." JD chuckled, shaking his head at the patient.  
"I'm not joking! Why does everyone think I'm joking?!"  
Both Charley and JD both shook their heads at Dr. Cox, laughing in the same smug way.  
Dr. Cox stormed out of the room, puffing out a huge breath.  
"Where the hell are the interns?!"


End file.
